


Always

by Angemicwings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x18 fic, Angst, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Sad, Season/Series 15, Sobbing, how i would like it to happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:22:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26309260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angemicwings/pseuds/Angemicwings
Summary: The Empty Comes for Castiel
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 69





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first fanfic I have written in years. In years. I am so so nervous But with SPN ending and a 15 year chapter of my life coming to a close and seeing that trailer inspired me. 
> 
> Also thanks to Bluebox_Parchment for (go read her fics) for being my little cheerleader (I seriously cannot wait for your fic.
> 
> Also 3 tracks helped inspire this fic, links below
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x11NURuaPwQ (this one 100000%)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxabLA7UQ9k
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tjdswqGGVg and this one so much

“Dean” Castiel pleaded, watching the hunter pile everything he could get his hands on to put against the door of the room where they had managed to escape into. He watched him pile books, chairs tables and Castiel loved him for that because furniture and books could not stop a cosmic entity. It was like trying to stop a wave crashing down on the shore. Castiel swallowed, “That won’t stop it.”

“It will buy us some time,” Dean snarled as he threw the last chair he could find towards the pile, “What is it? Is it something Chuck has created? What Do you think can hurt it?” he said as he pulled his gun out checking how many bullets he had left in it.

Castiel felt tears filling his eyes, “Nothing can stop it,” he whispered hoarsely.

Dean felt the hairs stand up on his skin as he looked to Castiel, unnerved by the tears that were running down the angel’s face. There was a time the angel Castiel had no need of emotions, back when he was stiff and severe, full of righteous wrath. He didn’t feel emotions but now seeing tears rolling down the angel’s cheeks Dean remembered what Hester had said all those years ago.  _ The very touch of you corrupts! When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost!  _ Perhaps she was right. Dean felt his throat tighten, “Cas what is it? How do you kill it?”

“Dean, it is the Empty. It has come for me and there is no stopping it.” Castiel watched as Dean's eyes flickered with confusion then fear.“You can’t fight it”

Castiel didn’t want to go back to the Empty. He remembered the blackness, the nothingness and the coldness. The vindictiveness of the Empty taking on the faces of people he had known, loved and betrayed. Would he take on Dean’s visage when he went back there. Would he thank the Empty for that torture or would he go insane being reminded constantly of the man he raised from Hell and had fallen so far for in so many ways. 

“We can try,” Dean shouted, “Dammit Cas we can fix this!”

Castiel’s heart seized in his chest, remembering those same words coming from Dean’s mouth years ago, the pain and betrayal. All his good intentions, those intentions to save Dean, his family, they all led to this moment. Then he looked at the man who made him even think of those intentions in the first place, Dean Winchester. The righteous man. “Dean, you have fought for the whole world and will save it again, but this time you can’t save me.”

“Why? Why are you giving up so fast? Why does it want you?” Dean whispered, suspicion and panic filling his face, “Cas tell me…”

“Because I made a deal, with the Empty, me for Jack”

As always it was down to a deal. The true curse of Dean Winchester's life was deals. So many made over the years and every point of his life where it went to his shit you would find a deal. His mother, his father, his brother, Bobby; they had all been there, they all had made a deal and it was all for love. So the anger that he would usually feel at being told about a stupid deal wasn't there, Dean loved their son and so did Cas, he would have done the same thing to save Jack. The only anger he felt was towards himself, why had he wasted so much time....why was it never on their side.

“Forgive me Dean-”

“I would have done the same for Jack,” Dean admitted quietly, “But if you think I am going to just let you go” he shook his head in denial, a tear slipped down his face glittering in the lamplight.

Castiel felt as if his heart was being flayed, “I have to thank you Dean, for everything, I don’t care if it was part of Chuck’s story but the best thing that ever happened to me was raising you from Hell. Thank you for being my friend, for showing me free will.”

Dean shook his head furiously, “No, no I won’t let you go. I need you by my side. We never got to...we never”

“I know” Castiel breathed

“No you don’t” Dean took a step closer, placing a hand on the angel’s shoulder, his thumb rubbing Castiel’s neck, “You don’t know, I love you, I know I said as a brother but it’s not like that..” he rested his forehead against Castiel’s, “I want to touch you, I want to be with you…”

Castiel whimpered, his hands now clinging to Dean’s jacket, “You must know, I feel the same, you are so worthy of love,” he felt his breath mingling with Deans. Why had he never declared it sooner, why had they stalled. Why had he never said anything. 

“Castieeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllll” the polluted voice of Billie called from outside the door.

BANG!

Dean flinched at the noise, as if it was like a bullet shattering his heart. This couldn’t be happening, not again. He couldn’t survive losing Cas again. “I can’t lose you Cas, I can’t go on fighting without you. I’m tired.”

“You have to go on, keep fighting, saving the world from Chuck.” Castiel gasped, “I need to know you-.”

BANG!

Dean looked back to the door and he could see there was only seconds left before the door and the contents in front of it would last and the entity outside would gain entry. He turned back to the angel clinging to his trenchcoat, the angel who was now openly weeping. “Castiel” Dean whispered before pressing his lips to the angels. 

The hunter had always wanted to know what those chapped lips felt like, he was surprised when they were softer than he anticipated, as he caught the gasp escaping from the angel and deepened the kiss. So often he had dreamt of kissing Castiel, kissing his neck, kissing his body. Not fucking making love, Dean had so little experience of that but he had so many dreams of times in bed, times outside, in the impala but never for real. 

Dean kept kissing him but as so often Castiel surprised him by taking command of the kiss, the angel’s fingertips brushed his jaw gently before his hands found Dean’s hair. 

It felt like one of those dreams. 

“Sorry for interrupting, boys”

But it wasn’t a dream, it wasn’t even a nightmare.

Dean felt Castiel freeze as they broke off the kiss, his eyes were blurred with tears as he turned to look at Billie. But it wasn’t Billie, black seemed to ooze from her skin, her eyes and even the ground she stood on. “Hello Castiel,” she drawled, “Time to go.”

“No,” Dean replied, standing in front of Castiel, pulling out an angel blade, with one hand and reaching back grabbing the trenchcoat cladded arm of the love of his life, “You can’t have him,”

“Boy, you think you can stop me! Me! I am older than time itself, God has no command over me, Death has no command over me and you think you, a human like a little tiny ant can? Castiel made a deal and I am here to collect and there is nothing you can do about it.” The Empty replied slyly.

“Then take me instead,” Dean replied without hesitation, lifting his chin up in defiance.

“No Dean! I won’t let you do this, you have to live!” Castiel pleaded, grabbing the hunter’s arm spinning him to face the angel.

“Either I go for you or with you, but you are not leaving me on my own. Not again. Don’t you get it? There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.” Dean replied stubbornly, his green eyes flashing furiously.

“Oh honey, no.” The Empty pouted then laughed, “that is so sweet, but you can’t come, where we are going there is no humans allowed. No souls, only angels and demons. Why on earth would I want a pitiful human there. Your kind are far too whiny and noisy, won’t get any rest at all if you were even allowed there.” The Empty extended its hand, “It’s time Castiel.”

Dean felt numb as he felt Cas pull him into a hug, “It’s okay Dean, let me go.” Dean clung to him, this couldn’t be happening. He knew he wouldn’t last without him. He could feel his world collapsing around him and it didn’t even need Chuck to be involved. It felt as if the silver traces of the grace that Castiel had used to mend and repair Dean’s body and soul were being dragged out by the Empty as well.

Dean clung on to Cas, “Know you are it for me. Always. Always.” 

“Always,” Castiel sobbed back, “I will love you forever,”

Dean wondered if this is what it felt like for his father when he lost Mary, did he feel numb, like it was all happening around him instead of to him. As if he was a witness to losing his soulmate and couldn’t do anything to stop it. That link between lovers being severed forever, did life being cut from one soul mean that the other soul just withered away? The spark of life and love gone?

Then the answer came to him. 

“Do you trust me Cas?” he asked quietly, pulling back searching those beautiful blue eyes that were red from crying, his face crumpled in confusion, “Of course I do,”

“Then forgive me for this.”

“What-” Castiel started but he could not finish, as Dean quickly wiped the angel blade across the skin on Cas’ collarbone. The angel fell forward into Dean’s arms as he gently lowered him to the floor.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” The Empty roared, “DON’T YOU KNOW KILLING HIM SENDS ME STRAIGHT TO ME TOO!”

Dean stood in front of Cas, “I told you bitch, you can’t have him. I have stopped apocalypses, Gods, Monsters, Angels and I am telling you now. You can’t have him, because he’s mine.”

“WHAT? WHAT IS THIS?” The Empty asked, Dean grinned dangerously as he held up a glass vial that flared with grace. The empty peered around Dean’s legs to see Castiel kneeling his face red and sweating, hand up to the bloody wound on his collarbone. 

“YOU CAN’T DO THAT, YOU CAN’T DO THIS,” The empty screamed as its face contorted in anger and frustration stomping its feet.

Dean stood with his angel blade ready to defend Cas, “Like you said bitch, us annoying little humans aren’t allowed in the Empty. Souls aren’t allowed in the empty. And Cas, well he is human now and once Billie kicks your ass out of her suit I bet she will confirm that he has a soul. And that soul belongs to me. So like I said you can’t have him.”

The Empty screamed again as both Dean and Castiel watched as it started towards then but a force stopped it, “NO, NO, NO!” as they could see the black goo disappear from the floor and from Billie’s skin. The air began to become thick, warm as if anything would ignite it Dean quickly knelt beside Castiel and pulled him close to him. As the hunter closed his eyes he saw a flash of green light against his eyelids and his eyes ringed with a high pitched wail.

Then only the heaving breathing of both the hunter and former angel. Dean opened his eyes and saw the beautiful blue eyes of his Cas staring back at him, “Cas,” he breathed his hands cradling his face.

“Well that was a turn out for the books.” a voice rumbled, the pair turned to see Billie leaning on her scythe. 

“Are you...well you?” Dean asked, scarcely wanting to believe that what he had done had worked.

“Yes Dean. But don’t expect me thanking you for getting rid of that annoying entity out of my skin.” Billie replied a smirk toying her lips.

“The Empty is gone?” Castiel breathed roughly, Dean’s face whipped back around to Castiel at the sound of his voice, like it was the first time he heard it all over again. The hunter tried not to hope, he didn’t want to hope.

“Well it has gone back to where it belongs, yes.” Billie nodded, she moved her arm gracefully towards Castiel and the wound at his collarbone was healed. 

“Will it be back?”  _ For me  _ was unsaid by Castiel but it was what he meant, as he felt Dean's hands clinging to his trenchcoat. 

“No. You have a soul. And reapers collect souls. Not cosmic entities. Not that doesn’t mean it won’t be soon. You have a battle to face without your grace and powers.” Billie explained as she used ripped pages from books to clean the residual goo that the Empty had left on her scythe, “The Empty is gone but Chuck is still our problem, so I will go find Sam and Jack and prepare ourselves for the coming battle.”

Within a heartbeat she was gone leaving Dean and Castiel alone together, Dean felt their hands entwine, he sighed “I’m sorry Cas, I didn’t give you much warning and took away your grace, but I couldn’t-” he was interrupted by Castiel kissing him firmly on the lips, then kissing his tear stained cheeks, whispering his thanks over and over again. Castiel then sat back on his heels looking at Dean, the righteous man who always surprised him, over and over again.“That was reckless and stupid, but I love you.”

“I told you, you aren’t going anywhere without me. Even if we don’t get through this last battle, Heaven or Hell there isn’t anywhere you are going without me.” Dean replied firmly, feeling his resolve harden. “And you know the one thing Chuck always underestimates?”

“What’s that?” Castiel asked as he stood holding a hand out to Dean and pulling him up, feeling exhausted and yet exhilarated.

“You Cas.” Dean said as he tucked his gun in the back of his jeans, “You have always been the one thing he cannot control or predict.” 

Castiel looked at the hunter “That’s because I love you. Everything was for you. Every decision I have made, every path has led to you, has always.”

Dean looked towards the door and felt the fear for the oncoming battle bleed into him. He didn’t know what would happen next. But at least Castiel knew he loved him and now he knew Castiel returned that love. Together Team Free Will had rewritten Chuck’s story so many times, what was one more time?

“Always,” Dean whispered, angel blade in one hand and Castiel’s hand in his other, Dean was ready for the end of times.


End file.
